What is a profile picture? That one picture that you want the world to look at in the million and one pages like twitter, facebook, Google, Glipho and this and that you have logged into….Your way of saying “This is me.” Since this is the best you believe you could offer to the world (other than your words), your profile picture or the absence of it can give away a lot…like say if you are casual in life, can you take life head on, are you a career person or just doing time pass…do you take this profile seriously…and yes it is your photo and you put it up so it must mean something to you. So here are a few things that your profile picture tells the world:
The portrait: face and till the
midriff.
1.Frontal face eyes
focused straight: You are
confident, well adjusted and ready
to face any
troubles.
2. Frontal face with
a big smile : Confident yet
childish, too optimistic..trying hard to
please.
3. Side face :
hiding something even
as you show
your good side.
4. Frontal but chin up: arrogant, overconfident, overbearing, difficult
to suffer your
presence....I don’t need
anyone types…..be careful. You
cannot live alone
and never ever
win alone.
5. Frontal but chin
down : confident yet there
is something embarrassing
you at the
moment.
6. Showing too much
of skin: desperate, lonely.
7. Showing too less: prude, narrow minded…worried what
the world thinks
of you.
8. Dressed up in
suit: trying to sell
me something?
9. Dressed in T
shirt: friendly and an open
mind. Buttoned up till
your chin: there
is no way
you will let
the world into
your heart.
10. Hands crossed in
front : defensive…hey, I am
not wanting to pick
up a fight.
11. Hands crossed up
in front and chin up: arrogant,
self-serving. Why are you looking
there? am I invisible .
12. Slouched :
bored…doing it for
the heck of it..or just
tired or beaten
down by circumstances.
13. Arched back : tensed,
anxious, type A character. Who is
holding a gun to you?
14. too much
make up: trying to
sell something? your Head, body or
soul when you
have sold it
already.
15. just enough:
confident, frank, playing on an
even field.
16. no make up: don’t
give a damn
to your world.
1. Nature
: tell me you
go outdoors at
least once a
while and that
is not a fake studio
background! It’s real? You
should have got your
photograph clicked with
your car..I would
believe you more.
2. White, Black background: no
nonsense.
3. Elaborate
curtains/painting : exhibiting
affluence? In a hotel room? Loves
luxuries, good things
and hopes to
get there someday.
4. Sitting on a sofa
: comfortable, hands
rested on the
back : don’t give you
a damn.
5. Leaning forward :
interested in the outcome
of the photo? Trying
to impress someone…mobile photos
with you leaning
forward appearing like
an astronaut in a
space shuttle: seriously? that should
be strictly for
friends or NASA and
not on profile!
6. With a sky
background : dreamy…get realistic.
7. Window in
background : hopeful,
waiting for something.
8. Near the door :
want to escape?
This is no
trap!
9. Face hidden by
hair : you might look
hot for someone
but hiding something
from the past….what’s bothering?
10. cropped hair for
the photo: playful.
11. let the
length of hair show: waiting
to get committed.
12. tight ponytail :
no nonsense.
13. too many
highlights: lack of confidence..trying to
exhibit it by
masking in superiority
complex. Want to
be a model? Actress? Lose
the highlights and
get a chin tuck!
Clicked with…..
1. with pets:
lonely…of course you love
your pets but
hope they don’t
take too much priority.
2. with a
particular tree or
flower : that’s a definite
nature lover and romantic
too. Waiting for that
knight to sweep
you off your
two feet? Be
careful there are
lot of idiots
dressed like knights
out there!
3. hidden amidst nature
and face almost
blurred : private, confidential…should
I sigh a non
disclosure clause before
I talk to
you. Playing hide and
seek, hiding physical
disability? shy..like a stealthy
hunter?…of course you want
to be discovered
and even elated
to glory but
I have to
find you amidst
the flora! Come on
don’t behave like a tiger
in the jungle!
4. Amidst office:
where is
your family? Far
and away? Untouched? What did
you do to
your family that
they did this
to you? Why love
your little cabin
so much? Your job
is your life, really? Get a
real life….and by
the way don’t
love your office try
loving your work..that
way when your
boss kicks you out
your will not
be heartbroken.
5. With
family..wife and kids:
committed, reliable and in
a warm cocoon.
6. With friends: hugging
your friends too tight? Peer
pressure? Possessive or pretentious…standing a little
away…is that just an
acquaintance? Drinks and cigarettes
in hand : have fun now
you will pay
for it latter…someday!
7. with lover :
show off. Who
are you trying
to get back
at? Your ex?
Bitchy friends?
8. with
husband/wife: he/she sure
love you enough
to share a
profile picture! No
friends left of
your own? Family is all
there is…that can get
lonely after sometime.
9. with things: guitar, bookcase, dolls, posters….dirty dishes?
Well you are
what you hold
close to your
heart! It is good
that you love books
or your music
but if you
are not promoting
your own book
or music then…seriously? Need
I tell you
to get a life and
a living?
10. with a T
shirt with slogans:
opinionated, closed head
or dragging attention
to your pseudo confidence…do you
have extra nipples?
11. sitting or
standing in one corner: controlling
manipulative.
12. in the center
of the room : won’t
let anyone in? want
the whole thing
for yourself? Jealousy…the
green monster will
eat you from
inside….desperately competitive.
13. lying on some
lawn or amidst flowers: playful..you think
life is a
picnic? that is
fine if you
are young but
if you are
even 25 or
above and a
professional..life is not a picnic,
get serious.
Up,
close and impersonal photos
1.
very
close ...too close..just a little of
your face shows: you
don’t want to be
recognized but hope
to be…you want
me to work
for your friendship..giving too much
importance to yourself, darling? Is that
just shy? Always nice
to people…why? Who hurt you
in school? Bullied? Too nice
to people will
get annoying someday,
for you as
well as for
others.
2.
lips and
hands : lusty
3.
eyes: aware, suspicious.
4. legs: inviting
5. feet, shoes: want
to go someplace
or run away
from someplace?
College
/ childhood photo:
that the
last best thing
that happened to
you? still stuck there
mentally and emotionally
even as you
grew physically in
both length and
breadth?
Your work
as profile: trying too
hard to prove
you are successful
in what you
do? There is an
inferiority complex somewhere…get
rid of it…before
it eats up
your career…and for
God sake show
me your face.
Celebrity photo :
why is the
entire you hiding? Not
looking good? Too
short? Big nose? Pimples?
Murdered someone?
The full
length
1.
Face blurred
body too far,
almost blending with
the surroundings: camouflage , everyone
knows what camouflage
is meant for. You
are
the hunter or
being hunted. Who? KGB?
NSA? Or past friends
or ex something?
2.
Hands behind: have an
ace up your
sleeve? Or did
you just pick
up something that
is not yours? What
did mommy tell
you? Show me
your hands!
3.
hands in
front: shy, hiding the
crotch?
4. hands
on hips: want
a fight? Aggressive.
5.
in
pockets : nervous. Thief.
6.
don’t
know where to
put your hands…that’s
why when you get a standing
full frontal you
are either with
friends spread across
each other in
fun or with
your boss squeezed and
hiding your crotch
because you know
he can hurt
you.
7.
sitting photo with
crossed legs : closed to
interaction.
8.
one leg over another:
closed to all
arguments…firm in what
he/she has already
decided. It’s dangerous in a
business meeting or
an interview.
9.
Both legs spread :
too comfortable, bossy, overbearing.
10.
legs stuck together: shy, almost asking
to be pushed
around !
11.
legs just spread,
not exactly but
almost parallel to
each other: comfortable, confident.
12.
resting on toes : in
a hurry.
Ok
I can go on
and on
but you will
get bored…let me
tell you with
every single bad
quality there are
at least five
good qualities. So
if I have
written something bad
about you be
assured I could
sing paeans of
you but then
I will be
writing a 300
page book!
What is the
ideal photograph? The one
that will impress
your target : will write about
it in the
next blog.
This is hilarious, although, some of it does make sense.
ReplyDeletethanks for reading.
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