Mirror, Mirror on the wall , let's be fair to them all.
This is an account of the three dimensions of Life on earth : Time, Place and Persons from across the globe that effect us all.
I woke up today and realized that I had another day of constipation ahead of me. Oh!
No, not the kind that is suffered by artists, writers and such but that all mere mortals suffer it at some point of time.
“God! Not again.” I sighed.
“Again?” Said someone. I could put down specifics but when the mind is fixated on one thing and one thing only who said what doesn’t matter, only what /she said matters.’
“It’s this early in the morning and this? Oh Shit!”
“No, no….it’s not Oh shit but No shit.”
“Why don’t you do some walking?”
“Why don’t you drink hot water?”
“Hot tea works better?”
“Google it. There has to be something on Google about it?”
“Do sit ups?”
“Eat some red chilli.”
“Apply hot water.”
“No, no…not there…on the abdomen, silly.”
“Drink some oil. Works for me.”
“Except kerosene oil, diesel oil .…everything should work. And stay away from burning matches.”
“Do the hula dance…shake the hips.”
“No, twist…why do you think it was so popular?”
“”Rub the hips…. stomach…even better rub the two feet together….the nerves responsible for shit end there.”
“Rub your temples….yes, the nerves starting the shit start there.”
“What did you eat yesterday night? Too much cheese? Too much protein?”
“Why should it matter?”
“Because you didn’t give it to us. Karma is a bitch.”
“I am suffering here.”
“O.K. Smoke a cigarette. One cigarette and it’s gone.”
“Like smoking, constipation is all psychological.”
“It can ruin an entire day so I think it is more philosophical than science or anything else.”
“Could there be a religious solution to the greatest, most virulent and pandemic problem of mankind? ”
“Don’t get religion into such things. It’s blasphemy.”
“Why when religion can tell you how to talk , walk and dress why shouldn’t it have a solution to the shittiest problem on earth? ”
“The moment it becomes a religious issue it will become a political issue. So no religion.”
“What’s politics got to do with it?”
“All politicians have their alimentary canal upside down, where is your this they have that and where is your that they have this…..but they are not constipated they have diarrhea….so politics won’t be much help. ”
“Check out on wordpress, tumblr, G+. Someone must have blogged about it.”
“Forget all that…It’s Psychological…maybe if I hypnotize you?”
“No, no, it’s just about habit. Why do we call it bowel habits then?”
“I think it is all in the head.”
“What’s in the head? Shit?”
“No, no…shit is where it should be but your face looks really constipated.”
“Let’s not get into all that. Just sit like a monkey, just like a monkey would sit on a branch.”
So after the entire mind boggling discussion I decided to sit like a monkey!
happy that it made you laugh.
Hilarious! It cracked me up!
glad it made you laugh. thanks for reading.