Wednesday, July 31, 2013

the cow is a successful animal : to help you forget English

The  cow  is  a  successful  animal. Also  he is  quadruped, and  because  he  is  female, he give milk, but will do so when he is got child. He is same like  God, sacred  to  Hindus and  useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. It  is  not  like  donkey  to  kick  people  unnecessarily  but  if  you  harass  it  will  kick  compulsorily.  
His whole body can be utilized for use. More so the milk. He  has  got  four  udders  in  the  underground  of  stomach.  You  cannot  see  it  until  it  is  full  and  hanging.  But  when  full  you  can see  from  between  back  legs. What can cow  milk  do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, condensed  milk,  milk  powder  and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, milkmans and mankind  generally.

Cow  is  white  in  color  and  no  it  does  not  apply  fair  and  lovely. It  is  white  by  birth  although  some  cows  have  brown and  black  patchy  sweater  like  coating. It  is  generally  clean  animal  but  sometimes  it  becomes  dirty  because  of  earth  it  walks  on. And  also  dirty  because  of  its  own  fecal  matter sticking  to  its  backyard  and  feet. It  is  domestic  like  dog  but  because  it  is  bigger  you  have  to  keep  him  in  stable  and  not  in  home  on  sofa. And  also  it  does  not  see  much  TV  like  dogs  do. It  is  more  interested  in  meditating  unlike  other  animals  except  donkey  which  also  is  into  mediation  always. It  is  also  very  silent  mostly  except  when  it  is  calling  other  cows  loudly  or  calling  it’s  calf  like  human  mothers  do  to  children.

His motion is slow only  because  he is a  big  animal  and  patient species.

It  is  very  popular  with  motorist  when  it  is  sitting  in  middle  of  road  and  munching  something  like  it  is  sitting  is  some  five  star  hotel. It  is  very  patient  so  if  you  honk,  it  will not  get  angry  or move  or  shout  back  like  other  people. Sometimes  it  is  also  sleeping  on  road  along  with  other  cows.

Also his other motion  the  one  people  call  shit  is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. cow  gives  more  shit  during  rains  because  it  is  feeling  the  water  and  is  cold and  has  got  loose  motion. It  can  pee  and  shit  while  walking  also  unlike  people  who  have  to be  still  to  pee  and  shit.

Cow is the only animal that  extricates  his  feeding  after eating.  Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth.  He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass  and  like  reported  earlier  in  roads  also.  If  people  have  garden  they  should  have  fence  and  close  gate  or  else  cow  will  come  and eat  all  plants  and  flowers.  

Cow  can  run  very  fast  when  it  is  in hurry  or  scared. Then  it  looks  like  a  horse  only  it’s  tail  is  like  whip  and  not  like  a  girl’s  pony  tail. People  should  be  careful  of  cow’s  tail  because  it  is  not  only  whip  like  but  mostly  dirty  because  unlike  people  it  does  not  use  ass-wipes.

His  only attacking  and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is

got child.  This is done by  bowing  his  head  close  to  ground  whereby he causes the weapons  to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed  with  great  velocity  forwards.

He has got tails also, but not like similar animals.  It has hairs on the other end of the other side of  tail.  This is done to frighten away the flies which  alight on his  back body whereupon  he gives hit  with it. like  I  said  you  should  be  careful  of  tail. The  tail  is  usually  lying  down  straight  covering  it’s  ass.  It  raises  tail  when  it  has  to  shit  so  that  tail  don’t  get  dirty  ad  not  obstruct  the  passing.

The  palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.  So the grasses head is not crushed  by  his  walking  on  it.  At night time have he poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts but  not  like  dogs.

His eyes are like  his  relatives  one  on  each  side  of  head  with  which  it  will  watch  left  and  right  side  also..but  only  one  at  a  time.

It  has  got  ears  also  next  to  horns.  It  can  move  ears  in direction  of  sound.

But  most  importantly  it  is  a  sacred  animal.  And  is  compared  to  all  mommies  in  Indian  culture.  Most  people  worship  it.  Some  also  drink  it’s  fresh  piss  because  it  is  medicine. It’s  fecal  matter  is  made  into  medicine  also.  Not  whole  but  small  piece  is  added  to some  local  medicines  with  or  without  knowing  of  patient. 

There  is  special  cow  called  Kamdhenu  in  Hindu  Mythology.  If  you  worship  it  you  will  get  all  wishes  fulfilled.  
All  Hindus  consider  all  cows  Kamdhenus  because  we  are  very  hopeful  people.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

21 economic models explained with cows

It   has  been  shared  a  million  time,  once  more:

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk  away…

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

You  have  two  cows.
You sell  one, and  force  the  other  to  produce  the  milk  of  four  cows.
Later,  you  hire  a  consultant  to  analyze  why  the  cow  has  dropped  dead.

You have two cows.
You  sell  three  of  them  to  you r publicly  listed  company, using  letters
of  credit  opened  by  your  brother-in-law  at  the  bank, then  execute  a
debt/equity  swap  with  an  associated  general  offer so  that  you  get  all
four  cows  back,  with  a  tax  exemption  for  five  cows. The  milk  rights  of
the  six  cows  are  transferred  via  an  intermediary  to  a  Cayman  Island
Company  secretly  owned  by  the  majority  shareholder  who  sells  the
rights  to  all  seven  cows  back to  your listed  company. The  annual
report  says  the  company  owns  eight  cows,  with  an  option  on  one  more.
You  sell  one  cow  to  buy  a  new  president  of  the  United   States ,  leaving
you  with  nine  cows. No  balance  sheet  provided  with  the  release. The
public  then  buys  your  bull.

You  have  two  cows.
You  go  on  strike, organize  a  riot, and  block  the  roads, because  you
want  three  cows.

You  have  two  cows.
You  redesign  them  so  they are  one-tenth  the  size of  an  ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You  then  create  a clever  cow  cartoon image  called ‘Cowkimon’ and
market  it  worldwide.

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk   themselves.

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

You have two cows..
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

You have two cows.
You worship them.

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Can people really change?

If  you  are  talking  about  the  fundamental  personality  of  a  person  then  the  answer  is  no. Yes,  behavior   can  be  changed  to  a  certain  extent….but   fundamental   personality?  A  guava  tree  can  grow  better  guavas  but  not  bring  forth  mangoes! It  sounds  hopeless  but   let  me  explain  the  psychology   underlying  it. 

In  psychology  the  big  five  personality  traits   used  to  describe  humans  are  openness,  conscientiousness,  extraversion,  agreeableness  and  neuroticism.
1. Openness :  openness  to  experience: whether  the  person  is  inventive  and  curious  or consistent   and  cautious.
2.  Conscientiousness : efficient  and  organized  or  easy  going  and  careless.
3.  Extraversion :  outgoing  and   energetic  or  solitary  and  reserved.
4. Agreeableness : friendly  and   compassionate   or  cold  and  unkind.
5. Neuroticism :  sensitive  and  nervous  or  secure  and  confident.
All  of  us  fall  under  these   traits  in  varying  degrees.  The  more  on  the   far  right  or  far  left  of  the   spectrum  the   more  difficult  to  change. And  we  fall  there  amidst   the  spectrum  based  on  factors  such  as  DNA,  Birth  order,  cultural  and  gender  differences  effect  our  personality   a   lot.
For  example :  women  on  an  average  are   more  sensitive. The  first  born   are  more  rigid,  the  last  born  are  more  malleable  and   the middle  one  are  prone  to  insecurity  and   more  negative   qualities  associated  with  it  like  jealousy, hatred.
Though  DNA  is  nearly  impossible  to  alter  there  is  always  a   hope  if  not  scope   to  alter  the  effects  of   birth  order,  cultural  and  gender  differences! There  is  another  important  factor  that  is  necessary  to  see  if  a person  can  change  or  not:

Age : The  older  a  person  is  the  more  difficult  it  is  to  change  him/her  or  to  change  themselves. You  can  teach  a  child  the  value  of  goodness  but  try  teaching  an  adult…it  is  very  difficult  to  unlearn  what  has  been  learned.  And  the  very  fact   that  the  persona  has   learned  to  be  a  pain  in  the  ass  that  itself  means  it  is  somewhere  ingrained   in  the  genes…we  all  know   how   criminal  behavior  has  been  proved  to  be  carried  by  genes  and  scientists  are  working  on  all  behavior  patterns  …it’s  just  a matter  of  time  before  we  are  proved  what  we  are,  are  what  we   are!  
But  till  then  we  can  dream  for  the  better  and   there  is  hope……
Now  ask  this : Do  you  know  someone  who  has  been  a  real  pain?  Is  still  a  real  pain  in  your  life? Someone  who  you  can’t  hold   on  but  neither  you  can  rid  of? family? Friends?  Boss? How  you  tried  to  change   them?  You  have  spent   half   your  life  trying  to  do  this?  You  have  tried  every  trick  in  the  book  from  punishment  to  rewards…from  love  and  affection  to  anger?   You  have  tried  but  to  no  avail?  And  yes  it  drained   you  as  well  as  the  other  party? These   questions   apply  to  yourself  too.

What  did  you  understand?
1.  In  order   to  change, the  person  must  be  willing  to  change– there  has  to  be  motivation….but  not  for  somebody else, they must  be  willing  to  change  for   themselves. Which  if  were  applicable  you  wouldn’t  have  wasted  half  your  life  into  it  in  the  first  place!  But  like  they  say  there  is  always  hope.
2.   For  number  1  to  work  there  has  to  be   solid  agreeable  reasons   to  change. What  is  the  incentive?  Is  it  everlasting?   If  I  change  for   a  job  or  a  holiday  or  when  meeting  in-laws   the  change  won’t  last.  We  all  know  about  plastic  smiles!  Let  me  give   a  practical  example : Children  are  sent   to  schools  because  their  parents   know  it  is  a  lifelong  guarantee  of  a  fair  and  decent  living…that’s  change …long  lasting  change.  Doing  something  without  incentive:  how  many  of  us   study   a  particular  subject  say  philosophy   or   astronomy  just  for  the   knowledge  and  not  to  make  a  living?  very  few.  But  if  I  change  to  be  a  better  person   that  will  long  lasting  and  will  ensure   me  love  and  acceptance  I  will  try  to  change.  For  example : Religion   within  society  work  like  this  to  curb  crime….which  also  means  if  there  is  as  much  as  a  fluctuation  in  the  love  and   acceptance  I  will  go  back  to  the  unchanged  state.    
3. Once the  reasons  are  understood  they   have  to  be  acted  upon. Actions  and  behavior  has  to  be  changed.  Changing   actions  and  behavior :  it  is  possible   but   has  been  proved  to  be  short  living.  Of  course  we  do  hope   a  lot  in  this   life…..we  hope  for  the  moon  that  doesn’t  mean  we  will  get it!  so  as  to  say   if  the  incentive let  it  be  long  term  or  short   term    even  as  much  fluctuates  the  person  will  go  back  to  his  fundamental   nature.  I  will  give  you  an  example:  You  have  a  friend/ sister  who  is  jealous  in  nature.  You  see  her  being  jealous  of  everyone  but  you.  Ask  yourself  this :  is  it  because   you  are  behind  her  in  life  and  living?  she  might  look  sharing  caring  as  long   as  you  are  behind  her  in  life  and  living  but  as  soon  as  you  try  to  get  ahead  of  her  the  jealousy  will  come  to  the  fore.
4. Have  realistic  expectations.   Change  is  the  most  resisted  thing  in  this  world. Well,  there  have  been  many  cases  where  people  have  changed  drastically  after  a  tragic  event.  Yes,  that  is  possible.  People  do  overcorrect  when  thrown  into  drastic  events.  But  how  many  of  us  can  wish  something  like  that  on  someone  or  on  ourselves? And  by  the  way  happy  events   rarely  change  anyone.  a  smiley  will  last  only  that  long!

So,  my  question  is  :  are  you  just  changing  behavior  which  is  for  a  short  duration  or  can  you  change  the  fundamental  make  up  of  a  person?  You  kiss  a  frog  and  it  turns  into  human?  That  don’t  happen. Finding  a guru?  A  motivational  seminar? Short  duration  change  will  be  there  but  after  sometime  it  will  fizzle  out.
Change  takes  time  and  dedication  and  the  ability  to  change…the  more  rigid  the  person  the   more  difficult  the  change.
Well, there  is  a  saying  constant   hammering  changes  gold  into  ornaments….but  then  gold  has  an  inherent  capacity  to  be  worthy.   You  might  argue that  even   diamonds,  emeralds  and  rubies  are  made  into  ornaments? Well  they  are  not  stones…they  are  precious  stones! 
And  then  let  me  say  this: it  is  easy  to  change  oneself  because  the  desire  is  from  inside,  the  will  is  one’s  own  and  so  is  the  capability  and  the  time  one  will  spend  on  oneself  but  if  you  are  trying  to  change  someone  else …god  bless  you.