The not so authentic plot
After many years of market research I understood what any ten year old can tell: Sex sells, let it be ghosts, vampires, or humans doing it and if you add a gore fest or serial murders then you are penning an international bestseller!
Because all of us, across the world have two things in common: our love of sex and fear of dying.
The plot has to begin beautifully and then has to be screwed horridly before it ends in happy ever after. The beginning, the middle and the end is a set standard for all, though in the end you can leave one or two characters jumping like yoyo balls if you want to write a sequel!
So, whether it is a fairy tale, ghost story, action punch fest, murder anonymous, paranormal tours and travels, orgasm vending machine, psycho club…everything...each one of them has to begin with the variety of synonyms of : ‘the day is beautiful’. For example: the sun is bright, the moon is soft, Tommy shot Jimmy, the meadow is green, the roads are grey, a war was declared, the fields are yellow, the roads are crowded, Sammy’s dad escaped prison , I got up with a hangover, Jerry is poor and hungry to the bone, I rode my Ferrari across the court, it’s morning rush hour……this is how the novel has to start reminding us that all is fine with our not so fine world.
….. and the plot has to end with the world becoming the original great happy place we have been living in where everyone, as in the beginning, is kissing everyone right into the Guinness world records!
The middle for various genre goes somewhat like this:
Ghost story: the ghost is trying to murder someone.
Fairy tale : the old queen is trying to murder the princess.
Action punch fest : everyone is trying to murder everyone.
Murder anonymous : it’s obvious someone will definitely murder someone while in the others genre the villains are just trying!
Paranormal and such tours and travels : intergalactic and paranormal beings trying to murder some earthly being.
Orgasm vending machine : this is one genre where everyone is trying to be happily in orgasm all time. Although the recent bestsellers tell us that they are also trying to murder each other just to have orgasm!
Psycho club: nothing can be more obvious about murderous intentions!
So, the best plot will be where : the day begins beautifully, then the villain jumps in from somewhere trying to murder the hero heroine while the hero heroine are trying to have orgasm, then the hero murders the villain and then the hero heroine finish off what they were doing before the villain jumped in.
Since this is the only standard plot available the writer has to be not just a magician who hypnotizes others but himself. There are of course some other older plots available for example : stories about orphans and their mentors and how the orphans are being betrayed but in the modern scenarios if the orphan does not murder his mentor and have relationship with his daughter in the end, his world is not going to get any better.
For writing the marketable novel you as a writer should be:
1. A sex aficionado.
2. A sadist and a research expert in murders.
3. And just so that you can mix these two into the lives of normal people living happily in an OK world and screw it up before you right it again : you have to be delusional, a near psychotic case.
But under no circumstance become so psychotic that you fail to understand the difference between a pen and a snake!