What happened to my shortcut plot
I was 18 when I decided I had to become a writer, by hook or crook.
If nerds are people who spent their time inside a book or the computer reading and looking at God knows what, then anyone who has an ambition to write those books should be called : mother of all nerds. So I was basically that and street dumb and had no experience about life. I used to read books, all sorts of right from textbooks to big literature . the kind of literature where heroes and heroines fought for their freedom and that of their country’s. I had a good idea of how they fought, died and won. I of course had read other books too: about poverty, step fathers and step mothers, bad mentors, bad weather, bad voyages..…wolves and bears and other such miseries that are much prevalent and how the orphan hero/ heroine fought the circumstances and got the kingdom as inheritance or at least was still hoping to till the last page! But that kind of heroics didn’t seem to be of any use to me as I was already as free and comfortable as was humanly possible. And then these stories had been told and retold a million times!
I was not going to be cheep and rewrite something already told by someone, even if it meant to rewrite a Bernard Shaw or Shakespeare! God!
I had a secret ambition to get the Nobel prize someday. So I had to be original.
I needed something authentic, the Nobel kind, the literature kind or as authentic as is possible without plagiarizing someone’s brain directly.Like I said I was the mother of all nerds which meant I didn’t get a chance to do drugs nor had an inclination as yet to roam the streets half naked. And most of all I had as much sex as a lonely chimpanzee in a zoo can dream of.
I had to rely heavily on what others were doing.So I collected stories from wherever humanly possible. I gossiped and gossiped. And then put it down in my own words : in my diary.
The synopsis of the manuscript as I penned and sent to literary agents: there is a boy and a girl. The boy and the girl are having an affair. Then the friend of the girl ‘the vamp’ digs her hooks into the boy. All hell breaks loose. The entire school is involved. The friend ‘ the vamp’ is thrown out of school. The manuscript also contains many saucy details like the girl’s parents are alcoholics, the boy’s parents are having an extra marital affair…and there are drug addiction issues. There are vivid sex details between the girl and the boy which are very original and have not been copied from anywhere. The last line is to tell you I have not plagiarized this manuscript or the sex scenes from other books.
If you are interested to represent me let me know.
I got a one page letter and it came by post.
I was anxious. I had never as yet failed in my life and I was not going to start now!
It was a rejection. God!
I was dumbfounded. Couldn’t be a rejection . I read it again. It was a rejection. Shit!
How dare she, the bitch! I was absolutely furious.
Today, if you ask me, I am sure the agent would have loved to send a telegram or come down personally but was restrained by maybe her colleagues or the police.
But back then I wondered : How could the agent write me, ME ! a rejection.
I wanted to prove her wrong. I was not interested to prove myself right or anything.
So I printed a few copies of my manuscript and distributed it to my friends. My mistake I had forgotten that this particular story was as collected by my gossip mongering.
And I paid heavily!
But it is good that I never told anyone about my ambition to get the Nobel prize till date.