I don’t know about you but I definitely have a ‘To haunt list’ once I am dead and gone. Well, for two reasons one : I do not wish to spend my ghost life idling around nowhere and secondly I seriously need to get even with some class idiots.
So, this is my to haunt list:
1. All those best friends who have been sending me chain letters asking me to like and share and get lucky in 7 seconds. Seriously guys? I did share it a few times harassing others just to get lucky…. but where is the luck? And then just like others can’t block me … I too can’t even block you on facebook …get a life and let me live mine. And don’t show me a carrot when there is nothing there!
2. all those driver who keep honking in a traffic jam. What am I supposed to do? drive over the guy ahead of me? when there is not an inch of road ahead? Should I crush all the cars ahead of me like in a James bond movie or that Jason Statham ?
3. Acquaintances and relatives: OK, this one group is really annoying. We meet only once in a blue moon and that too during wedding and funerals and yet you won’t spare me “how you should live your life according to me” bullshit.
4. The maid, milkman, paper man and all such who should make my life easy but only make it difficult by always being late, availing all holidays in the world and always asking for a raise and then not performing as expected!
5. The traffic signal : well, this one is a real pain..the moment I get to the crossing and just about when I know I can beat the yellow light by just a little more acceleration, it changes to red…and then there is the next line in the mall: why does it always have to move faster than the one I am standing in?
6. The autorickshaw and Taxi drivers of Mumbai. Even if the distance I have to go is 500 meter they will not drop me to my destination without giving me the all Mumbai tour and then charging me for it!
7. There are a few teachers I would love to haunt but the few are actually many. These are the ones that kept telling me to shut my mouth “Don’t talk in class.” “where is your homework?” and parrot everything they taught and yet failed me because I was me! I think they didn’t like my name!
8. All those bloggers who do not follow me even when I follow them L
9. All those publishers who are not ready to understand that I need my million dollar book deal like yesterday to have a life. God! How stupid and stingy can publishers get?
10. There is this neighbor’s dog that barks and barks me out of my sleep, right when I am about to have a great dream. Stupid dog!
11. The one person/ thing I will definitely haunt is God. How many times did I send him/her/it a reminder of all my re-reminded wishes…of course I have a million and one whishes but if a genie can give three wishes then God should be able to deliver my million and one. And if he/she/it is as powerful as they say then he should do it immediately by tonight or else I am haunting him.
I could add politicians and all those celebrities to this list but since they are as it is haunted by millions, I will spare them.
So, who would you like to haunt?