Buy a follower get a comment free! And if you buy me for five years you get a discount. Let us all make our plus 1 desperation a great way to become rich through blogging.Yesterday I read a blog where I got to understand how following and getting followed is such a pain.
In my initial days blogging and all the things associated with it seemed very enchanting but soon …..it’s like a love affair. Or playing Farmville on Facebook.I remember Farmville. First it was great. I made a farm. Then planted all sorts of vegetables in it, eggplant, squash, strawberries…..and then I had to harvest them. Harvesting them made points and I got to buy cattle and a shed and a airplane……it goes on and on. Soon the harvesting became a headache. I had to keep an eye on the time frame.
“What if my eggplant is ruined? Withered?”
“Oh God! My egg plants.” There had been times I had to get up from my sleep to harvest them. Soon it took away the one thing I cherish most : my mental peace and for what? A virtual eggplant!
Now blogging is not just like that but much similar.
The first post goes in. then I wait to see if anyone is reading it. any hits? Then who is following me? no one.
Why? Add pictures. The more stupid the pictures the more the views. So I add pictures. That itself takes time : to search the net and copy paste other people’s pictures!
|I will follow you to the end of the world|
Then I read somewhere you have to follow other bloggers to hope they will follow you.
And then what is the guarantee that if you follow others they will follow you? No guarantee.But I got to try. So I followed others. A few followed me but most ignored me.
Of course here I was extending my hand in following and the other person just ignored it. Shit!
It’s not like someone is rejecting your friendship, its worse. They are rejecting what you blog about!
That’s real crappy!
So I tried to analyze the situation : you like what they are writing but they find you uninteresting. Shit. Shit shit.
So what do I do?
I try to find out if there is a button that says unfollow. Oh yes there is. So now I am thinking should I unfollow this person. ..this ungenerous selfish idiot.
“what does he/she think? They are better than us?”
“I am following them but they won’t?”
Man! People have more respect for stalkers.
Should I unfollow or shouldn’t I? I will look cheap if I unfollow people I am following. But then they already think I am cheap. But again I can’t be that cheap.
And then another idea hit me : I should blog something interesting to make them follow me.
So I did a research . I goggled. And found the topics that people follow the most. Food? Fashion? Lifestyle? Movie stars? Einstein? Blogging tips?
Now I got to write about these topics? Half of them I don’t even understand. Shit!
Not only do I have to learn all these things, I have to be on this blogger thing full time checking who is following me, how many hits…..and I have to write on hot topics! I am so screwed.
If that is not enough I have to spam all the communities with what I posted on my blog!
And then there are some who have rules too! God! people mostly moderators really know how to make my life difficult!
And if that is not all my Gmail inbox is full of other peoples blogging notifications! There are more spammers that I thought.
This one day I got 100 mails. Great at least I am not alone!
And then I have to read their blogs and like them and comment on them. Not that I love all blogs but then if I don’t visit your blog you won’t visit mine. And if I don’t comment on your blog then you won’t comment on mine!
This is like me having joined a mutual appreciation club! And then I have to think of something spicy to write everyday….If I go on this way for a few days I will develop OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ?
Blogging is worst than Farmville. That harvesting and withering eggplants were better. At least I knew deep down inside they were eggplants but this is my hard written sweat blood work!
So in the last twenty days of suffering the Dilemmas I did a little brainstorming and find me cheap or not, these are a few options open :
1. I am hoping that Google will make an app that will automatically make you follow me if I follow you.2. if I like you, you have to like me or you get a minus point in your Google ranking.
3. if I leave a comment on your post you leave a comment on mine. If not minus four points.
And if Goggle cannot do that for whatever reasons then I have an idea: let’s make a community of Followers.
The benefits for both bloggers and followers :1. we will have a community of followers. Where all the people blogging for the heck of it can make money.
2. all the bloggers who are egomaniacs and love their blogs more than their money can become poor by buying us.
God bless this world. I am yelling here : buy me, I am dying to become a millionaire!
What will I and my community of followers do for you great bloggers:
1. I am ready to be bought for 1$ per week. I will view your blog as soon I get the notification in my mail.
2.I will like your Blog for five hundred dollars for six months. There is discount here: if you buy me for five years then you will get five hundred dollars discount.
3. if you are a voracious blogger and post everyday just because you have nothing else to do in life then this will cost your an extra 1000$ upfront.
4. if you want that plus one not on your blog but on that short spam you are posting on communities that will cost you only 250$ for six months. There is no discount for this.
5. Comments: I will comment on your blog too. But since the web takes some serious time to open your post and I will be using my web time this will cost you more. 1000$ for six months.
And please I request this to be implemented at the earliest and let all bloggers like me who are just doing time pass join this community of followers and make quick money.
The requisites and benefits for all in this community of followers are:
1. All you have to do is have a valid email address and get notifications from all communities. Then keep adding plus on every post you see.
2.You should have a great browsing speed because opening the actual post will take some time but still it is worth the while. Once it opens add plus one and make more money.
3. Now writing a comment might look troublesome. You have to read the post and then comment. No, not at all. All you have to do is scroll down and see the comment section. What do you see? Comments? Right? now randomly copy words like brilliant, well written, great…and all the synonyms and past it!
4. Now there must be lazy fellows amongst us followers? Like they say necessity is mother of all inventions so let’s make a software that if installed will do all the liking and copy pasting.
So, Who is interested to join my community of followers?
P.S: prices are negotiable.