This is a sample :
My Dearest Agent,
I got your rejection today.
I can take anything from you, but please not a rejection. I am too sad to even think you would reject me!
I have since childhood , always wanted to be a writer. An now this rejection? Please try to understand my plight.
Do you know there has not been a single day I have not thought of you. Can’t you see I love you? I have worshiped you along with my gods, put you up there on the pedestal.
And I promise there never has been anyone else for me. Other writers are sending multiple queries but me? only you for me. You are my life and living and the millions that are yet to come!
You are representing other authors so why can’t you represent me? I know you have such great name in the publishing industry that even if you send shit they will agree to publish! Consider my book that shit and send it for publishing. Please.
If not, spare me some time and edit my work. I will pay you once I get my million dollars. Can’t you have some patience? For a beaten soul?
Nobody has ever loved me. Nobody understands me. Not even my parents or friends. Even my teachers never loved me. Even other writers look down upon me. And then agents? They don’t love me at all. But I have chosen you to be my savior. Save me, Please.
My only reason to live is that somehow you will love me and represent me someday.
My face and particularly my eyes are very swollen with all the crying I have been for the last five hours.You won’t believe where where I have cried : in the bathroom, under the bed, in the closet….for what? So you will represent me.
I want to tell you , you broke my heart. Whatever I have done to you ? I have not even hurt a fly, ever. Can you see the dark spots on this letter . Those are my tears flowing like a river. If ever there was a genius book of world record for crying I would have got it!
How could you hurt me? Anyway you are busy and I can understand that.
So, I am sending back the rejection letter to you. Please think of me as poor, naked and hungry child in search of a guide and represent me. And please don’t send back the rejection!
God! have mercy on my soul! and give you some compassion.