writers block? mental block? no problemo!
First the definition : writers block is a type of block that makes your computer, laptop or paper appears like a block of wood or like a boulder. There are two types of block:
1. External block
2. Internal block.
In this post I will tell you about external block which is as important as internal block.
External block is the type of writers block which is due to external factors. You have a great idea and everything fits but people and environment won’t let you write it down. It is like they are restraining you from your great writing expedition. A few examples of external writers block :
1. You got the idea while you were showering. By the time you wash the soap off the idea is drained out.
2. You got the idea when you took your dog out for potty and the dog is busy following bitches and doesn’t want to come home.
3. Your friends decided to drop by and will not leave until they have finished up all the jokes they have read on the net in the last one year.4. Your best friends boyfriend/ girlfriend decided to fall into a gutter and now this friend of yours wants you to accompany him/her to the hospital.
5. The computer just crashed.
6. People at home refuse to lower the volume of the TV because their favorite mythological/ God serial is coming.
7. Your friend is again and again sending porn MMS and you cannot do anything but oblige him/her by masturbating.
8. Your dog wants to play catch and has been puling at the hem of your pants in such desperation that your pants are half way down.
9. Kim Kardashian is showing something on TV….again.
10. It’s raining heavily and your neighbor who knows you have to write is purposely wearing her see through blouse and trying to blow dry her lawn. God!
11. You are feeling hungry. You want to eat something sweet and your friend has cleaned the fridge empty with his/ her tongue.
12. Your friends had a party and you had to oblige them by getting wasted and now you have a hangover.
13. The internet is not working. So how will you get / steal ideas?
14. The flush of your toilet is not working because of which you are constipated and your focus is fixed to your ass.
15. Your younger sibling is sitting next to you and chewing his/her food making loud cow like noises on purpose.
16. Your family is creating new chores by the minute just so you will not be able to write.
17. Some agent has just send you a rejection and you just cannot stop cursing / crying in her/ him name.
18. And then your computer crashes again.
19. Someone stole your pen, your hair pin, your glasses, your vodka, your underwear….
20. Your friends are not telling you any stories to write, Google has suddenly become slow and the world moral! Shit.
21. Someone has stolen the idea already, from the same guy you tried to steal it from. Holy Shit!
Since by now you have got my drift….. it is the type of block which is very difficult to get rid of unless you are writing a murder mystery. So for the time being write a murder mystery about the pissers and the pissed…..they were called the protagonist and villain or something like that in olden days but truly they are just pissers and the pissed…...and then put all the above characters in your novel and kill then one by one!
There is no other way to deal with this block!
I have a secret potion that can deal with this type of mental/ writers block though, I can send it through fed X but it will cost you …only 500$. One time potion…one drop in cup of tea/ coffee/scotch and all problems solved! There is 500 problems solving drops in it!